a comedic universe
I've had a huge resentment. The biggest resentment I've had in a long time. While I'm not proud to say that, it's what often happens. Someone does something to us, or so we think. But really, it is I who allowed this person's actions to deeply affect me. So here I am, with this burning gripe, which is poisoning me (& them), and truthfully, I don't even think I really wanted to let it go. I found myself in a state of self righteousness, of pride. This person is wrong and I am (mostly) right. We all know how this goes.
So I wake up one morning and for the first time, I'm really able to experience gratitude for them; for the lessons they taught me. The way their unkind actions supported me to address a long-standing, painful belief that I had shared with them; a lie I had been telling myself. When we were still on good terms, they also taught me about self-worth. To stand up for myself, especially in the realm of work and it has really payed off in a beautiful way. So it's not surprising that, later in the day, I ran into this person. Previously I knew that the universe was not going to allow this until I could be calm in their presence.
I did try my damnedest to avoid them though. I saw them from afar and secretly checked the registers to make sure they had left the store I was in. But of course, the universe had other plans. Somehow I managed to end up in the line where they were paying. "Should I switch lines?" I wondered. No. I almost left the store when I initially saw them, but I knew this wasn't the answer.
Sure enough, this person turned and walked towards me, towards the line; the opposite way of exiting a checkout. When they saw me, their face was both shocked and not stoked at all, but somehow I remained in a state of calm. And then here comes the best part-we had parked next to each other. They saw me. This was a large parking lot, so it was extra bizarre. Both of our windows were left rolled down and when I started my car, the light turned on and Rihanna's 'Wild Thoughts' began playing loudly. My car doesn't allow me to lower the music until a minute or so of being on. All I could do was laugh to myself. The universe has a funny sense of humor.
Photo by Kat Mills