This is a word that comes up in my life, again and again. 

Can I trust in this moment?

Can I trust that everything will work out as it needs to?

Can I trust that I will given everything needed to create the life I dream of? 

And while I understand from an intellectual perspective that trust would make my life easier, I fall into the opposite: fear. Rather than easing into the knowing that I will be provided for, I worry. I allow myself to be thrown by what is happening in my outer reality. You know, people, places and things. And while I understand the innate humanness in fear, I also see the potential to live a different way. To retrain and rewire. To release and rebound into a higher version of myself. 

It is so easy to get wrapped up in the mind, to enter into a familiar state of doubt and anxiety. And yet, our task is always to rise. To prioritize finding a way out of this thinking so that we can in fact experience both our inner greatness and the outer magnificence of this planet. For me, as I've learned to take down the armor that I so carefully constructed over the years, I've noticed a greater sense of trepidation than ever before. I was becoming more of myself and more afraid at the same time, and while there is great power to be found in vulnerability, it can be very uncomfortable. It was finally time to admit that, yes, I am afraid and I am just as sensitive as I am strong, and one cannot exist without the other.

True strength is being vulnerable and humble enough to admit that you don't have it all figured out. 

To say out loud that maintaining trust is a struggle. 

And that in the face of it all, you will keep striving to return to it.

As fate would have it, my friend Jen just did a podcast with Rachel Brathen AKA Yoga Girl during her trip to Aruba. After listening to their talk, I clicked on Rachel's podcast about manifesting abundance. As you can probably guess, the entire thing was on trust. Rachel describes a time when she was living in a hut in Costa Rica, where muddy water would pour into her front door during rainy season. She was working 10-12 hours day, barely getting by as she lived on beans and rice. There would even be months when she wasn't able to make the rent and yet, she felt freer than she ever had. Although her life back in Sweden was quite cushy, this new way of existing was the ultimate liberation. 

While I had my own version of losing everything, only to gain everything, I always ended up returning to my keeper, fear. The only time I could find what Rachel had experienced was through country hopping, far far away from the stress and pressures of my modern day city lifestyle. Knowing this, it makes great sense why I returned from 9 months of travel feeling like my manifestations had halted. Fear was the driving force. Fear was the thing keep me stuck and small, and as it rose to the surface, my life was met with great stagnancy. 

How are we to attract a life that makes us feel safe and fulfilled, if we cannot feel into that relaxed nature in this moment?

In simple terms, we can't.

So how do we get back into the flow state? One where life feels easy and you can relax into yourself, knowing that no matter how rocky things seem, there is perfection within it all. Like anything else, it is a practice. A daily, moment-to-moment application, cultivated with time and dedication. Rachel began using mantras, meditation and journaling each and every day to break free from the habitual pattern of scarcity. She asked to have her basic needs met, until the day came where she began to ask for more. And as her desires expanded, so did her life. If you listen to her podcast, it is a true testament of what happens through both surrender and trust. It shows you the power of having loving intentions behind everything that you do. It also shows you the power of a plan and lots and lots of action, combined with unbounded leaps of faith.

For if you live this way, greatness awaits you on the other side. 


For more on trust.


Photo: Unknown 


Kenna ConwayComment