"I'd say art is with you. All around you. I'd say when there doesn't seem to be anyone else, there is art. I'd say you can love art how you wish to be loved. And I'd say art is a lifeline to the rest of us - we are out here. You are not alone. There is nothing about you that scares us. There is nothing unlovable about you, either." - Lidia Yuknavitch
I think it's safe to say that the times we are living in are confusing at best. There is so much going on and yet, true connection and aliveness often escapes us. There is pressure, so much pressure, to be something, to do something, in each and every moment, that it can often leave us paralyzed. Or addicted to things that help us numb out. Outside sources that quiet the depression and anxiety gremlins.
For me, the remedy to these feelings is creativity. In order to break free from the hold of sadness or stuckness, I challenge myself to create. To step outside of my comfort zone. To see beauty in each moment. Turning my vision in a kaleidoscope. Allowing for a new perspective. At our core, we are all creators. Crafting our realities and visions each and every day. It is both a great honor and challenge to bring the spirit of art into all that I do.
I would say that photography is not a natural medium for me. Holding the camera feels both foreign and exciting. Like I am grasping potentiality for failure and magic at the time. But my desire to create through the lens is greater than the fear. I take pictures. I obsessively collect images that I love, recorded on my computer, phone and memory. The fact that it doesn't come that easily makes it all the more rewarding. I am pushed. I create things that are meh. That don't translate from what I see in my head to the final image. And yet, regardless of the result, I am actively repelling darkness and doubt from my realm.
Here are some of the photos that I took with a friend this weekend. She came over, we were missing the lens I wanted and I initially wanted to get frustrated. But instead, I just rolled it. I picked some plants from the garden and placed her into the light. I grabbed the camera and we worked together. Shifting and collaborating in the moment. Me, asking her to place her body in a certain way. Moving through the space as she stayed in stillness. Her, picking up a flower or lifting her face into the sun. Finding vulnerability and freedom as time unfolded.
At the end of the day, I was less focused on the results. Instead, I felt fulfilled by the activity. By breaking free from the confines of my mind. By opening up to the moment, to an impulse to work with another just because. No real rhyme or reason behind what we were doing. Just a desire to see what could happen. To feel alive. To trust the inner voices from within. And to put a little bit of beauty into a world that needs it.
May the creative force be with you.
Thank you to my model and friend, Jess Conkwright (@jessincase). <3