Crystal Clear Vision

Lately the word vision has been running through my head. I work with a woman who is helping me turn dreams into tangible materials. Thoughts to things. Leading my hand as we walk from the imaginary into reality. Without clarity, I have gotten lost in ideas. Swimming around in my brain, unable to manifest what I want. 

I have been lucky to spend time in the presence of those with razor sharp visions. My father, a creative and eccentric man, had a mind that never stopped turning. He would walk into an empty space and picture a home. Touch a fabric and envision a new suit. Or come across a young new sports player and see a star. What made him so successful was not only his ability to see past the here and now. It was the fact that he never thought he was wrong. That once he had decided on something, there was zero room for doubt. 

I have also had the chance to work with female artists who don't bend for the outside world. It could be said that it's easier for a man to stay true to his vision, since the world typically supports that. But a woman with a strong opinion and a mind of her own- the response is not always the same. Finding Lidia Yuknavitch, reading her work and having the opportunity to study under her is a huge gift. Her writing is unlike anything I have ever read before. It's raw, exploring subjects that most stay away from- vidid violence and sex. She spent a large portion of her literary path being told she was doing it badly. That her prose like writing and non linear stories were incorrect. A few sentences in and you will know how wrong they were. 

The outside success, acclaims like best seller lists and other awards, didn't come until later in life. And yet, somewhere in her body, she always knew that she was right. That there was a place for her words. That others would resonate with the way she created. And that her story deserved to be told in the way that she deemed fit. As women, we are given keys into understanding the language of the body. If we listen, the details for clear visions are always available. 

Like Lidia, I, too, have been encouraged to change the way I express myself. Teachers have asked if my choppy sentences are a choice or the result of living in a texting generation. I have had the opportunity to write for others, only to have my voice changed. Reduced to someone who no longer sounds like me. Someone, who in my opinion, sounds dumbed down. Although I gravitate towards light and airy things, I am not not that way. And neither is my writing. 

While there are several important factors to crafting strong visions, authenticity is crucial. Staying true to what feels right has taken many towards great success. One must also have a fierce belief in what they are doing. Encouraging wondering and worrying to take a pause. If you don't love your vision, why should anyone else? 

If you are struggling to know what your "truth" is, say it out loud. See how it sits in your body. If it resonates and clicks. Or leaves a funny taste in your mouth. A feeling of "no" in your bones. It may be easy to try and fit a mold. Or replicate something that you see. But eventually, it will probably feel all wrong. Like you are living out someone else's dream. 


Photo by Emily Faulstich

Kenna ConwayComment