metaphor as teacher

Looking at my life from above, I soon learned that metaphor was the driving force behind my story. 

Lidia Yuknavitch, writer and artist extraordinaire, taught me this. I'm not sure how she landed in my world. It seemed like coincidence, but then, nothing ever really is. Our collision felt like it was written in the stars long before I knew her name. Much earlier than when I held her book in my hands for the first time. I think that is how most people would describe her entry way into their lives- somewhat mysterious and alchemical. 

Her real life personality was much softer than her words. Gentler than the images she so accurately painted for her readers. But there was a quiet power. A subtle energy field that could only be seen if you were really paying attention. She wants her students to look closely. To be investigators of the unseen, the overlooked and the unusual. So that's what I've been doing. Examining the aspects of my life that I have previously passed over. I have been focusing on the reoccurring metaphors off the page, the ones in my day to day life. And what I have found is that they are keys towards personal growth.

For instance, I like to say that I have a tendency to attract emotionally unavailable men. But the truth is, I am attracted to emotionally unavailable men. After all, they are just mirroring my own unavailable nature. And this tendency of mine doesn't just exist in the area of romantic relationships. This is merely a metaphor for how I am in almost every area of my life. It has taken me nearly 30 years to realize that I am completely afraid of commitment.

As we move out of 2016 and into the new year, it is an obvious time for reflection. But rather than writing a simple list of goals or swearing off some unhealthy behavior, I offer you the power of metaphor. 

Start by examining where your greatest difficulties lie. These are typically patterns that have been with you for a long time.

Ex. Working at a job you hate. Making less money than you desire.  

Then examine other parts of your life. Where do you see the themes of settling, again and again? 

And lastly, how can you make changes to counteract your patterns? Chances are, if you settle in one major area of your life, then it's your tendency to settle in general. Maybe you aren't ready to quit your job, but you decide to ask for a raise. Or you finally let go of that friendship that no longer feels like a vibrational match. Or you begin looking at new apartments by the beach, because you've always wanted to live near the ocean. 

While I don't think I will be jumping into a serious relationship anytime soon, I will be taking steps to be more committed to other areas of my life. Although these changes don't necessarily relate to romanic relationships, everything is connected. And every time we shift a pattern in the right direction, we become more likely to receive what we really want. Little by little, it becomes easier to release the metaphor, once and for all. 



Kenna ConwayComment